Bush Whacker

I was wandering the Net the other day, searching about as usual for pop culture and conspiracy theory oddities. For the hell of it, I put the word "kitten" into Google Images, and among the usual snaps of little, bewildered felines with wide, helpless eyes, I came across a photo that just may verify that George W. Bush is a carnivorous, shape shifting reptile, as one English conspiracy theorist believes.

There's no denying it -- it appears that George Walker Bush, our wonderful lame duck prez, is munching on a little cat. A reptile would do something like that. Have you ever seen one of those nature shows where the snake catches a small animal and then proceeds to swallow it whole? Dubya was hungry, and his reptile brain must've gotten the best of him as he just slobbered all over that little defenseless creature.

This photo has been floating around the Web for at least two years. I have yet to trace its origins, but in reality somebody probably found a photo of Bush biting into corn on the cob and just fired up the ol' Photoshop to have Fun with the Chief Executive of the USA.

I kept looking, turning to Google with the words "Bush eats corn," and sure enough, the original turns up. This is exactly the same image, only without the hapless little mammal. Yep, no cats, just a bunch of farm fields in the American Midwest.

Bush was running for re-election in 2004 and was swinging through Iowa that August. John Kerry, the Democrat, was there too hunting to votes.

Bush visited a farmers' market in Bettendorf, Iowa and purchased some corn. He bit into one cob raw, saying, "You don't even have to cook it. It's really good."

It was just another gimmicky event to get publicity on that campaign trail. Kerry, meanwhile, just waved an ear around without chowing on it. This photo was taken by the Associated Press as part of routine campaign coverage.

Now, if an AP photographer had caught Bush morphing into a giant humanoid reptile thing and munching a kitten, now that would be an earth shaking discovery and maybe get the guy a Pulitzer Prize.

That is, if the photog wasn't eaten first by the Bush Reptile Creature because he had discovered that Dubya is really a New World Order monster.